A Basic Glossary

While writing my last post, I mentioned one of my daughter's favourite toys and it made me realise just how much of N & my terminology is quite possibly meaningless for those outside our family and friends circle.

In order that I don't have to post huge explanations each time, I thought I'd write a glossary, and I can update it each time I think of a new family word or phrase. Here are a few to be getting along with:

Blart:
Baby sick. Would be used in a sentence such as "Oh no, she's just blarted all over the sofa"
Blart Rag:
Cloth or tissue used to mop up blart (varies, depending on proximity to offending blart patch). Would be used in sentence such as "Ewww, it's all over me - pass a blart rag, will you?"
Heffalump:
A much-beloved red, green, blue and yellow creature that rattles, squeaks and has two interesting bell noises in it and has a trunk that is perfect for stuffing in one's mouth.
Keys:
A handily-grabbable item with 3 strange interpretations of animals. Designed to be both a rattle and a teething ring, this item's most frequent use is to inflict bruises on any nearby skin (including child's own).
Kicky Chair:
A reclining baby bouncer/rocker that has footpads that can be kicked, thus setting off a variety of lights and tunes. Also comes with 'calming vibrations' option that can rattle the eyeballs out of the skull of a newborn. Would be used in a sentence such as "Oh God, the kicky chair's going out of tune - whatever you do, buy more batteries!"
Naked Baby Song:
The tune that is sung to signal the arrival of the bedtime routine, which begins with aforementioned baby being completely stripped for bathing.
Snail:
Favourite book, in which we follow the thrilling tale of Stan the snail looking for his friend Sam. As we follow the trail through the garden, we encounter fabulous scenery, especially the scrunchy leaves that are perfect for grabbing and stuffing into the mouth. Companion publications include "Hen", "Frog", "Fish" and "Mouse".
Spinny Thing:
Ceiling fan in bedroom that is completely fascinating to small babies. Would be used in a sentence such as "Don't cry sweetie - oh look, is that your spinny thing up there? Ooh, look at that!"



I do hope that this weird alternative language isn't going to have too many long term negative implications for our daughter - we can't be the only ones doing this... can we?