Eek!

Where has all of that time gone?! I can't believe I've been away quite so long; if there's anyone still there, sorry, and I should be back more regularly now (I hope).

One of the main reasons for my posting silence is that I have started work again. As I was made redundant before my daughter was born, I have had to find a new job as well as adjust to returning to work. Luckily for me, it all happened really quickly so I didn't have time to agonize over things that may or may not go wrong!

I was called by an agency on a Wednesday afternoon and told about a possible role. It sounded interesting, so I agreed they could put me forward. On Thursday they rang me frantically and told me the company wanted to see me asap. Friday I went for the interview, and before I left the building had been offered the job! Suddenly I had an urgent need for childcare....

Luckily, my local council run an excellent service and when I spoke to them, they were able to provide me with a list of every nursery and childminder between where I live and my new office that had a space for a child my daughter's age. N & I sat and whittled them down, and made a shortlist. Only 2 of them could possibly do the hours we needed, so we went to see them.

The first lady was very nice - similar age to us and had a lovely child, but something didn't feel right to us. The house felt - well, there's no accurate way of describing it really, apart from sterile; although there were toys and places to go and things to do, there was no personality in the house.

The second lady we met was a lot older. She had grown-up children and her house was full of photographs - family, friends, the children she'd looked after over the years - there were walls covered floor-to-ceiling in images from different times and places. Unlike the first childminder we saw, this lady couldn't wait to hold our daughter - she played with her, cuddled her, talked to her as though she was one of her own children. This was exactly what we hoped for!

N & I always knew that our ideal situation would be for one of us to stay at home and look after our children, but we also knew this was unlikely to realistically happen. Our second choice would be for a family member to do it, and a childminder or nursery was our third choice. Luckily, in this second lady, L, we had found someone who would treat our daughter as a member of her own family and therefore continue looking after our daughter in the same manner.

So, three weeks after being offered a job, I returned to work. I've been there for5 weeks now and am loving it. I thrive on the daily stimulation; I can't tell what each day will bring and the adult interaction is great. I miss my daughter more than I ever imagined. Being away from her breaks me in two, but it makes me appreciate her so much more, and I know that the time I am with her, she gets more from me because I am fully able to be myself.